thank you for breathing.

❝ I Hate This

( posted on Thursday, January 10, 2013 @ 10:10 pm )

Yeap ,I know ,her results are good .
I feel happy for her .
Cause no matter what ,she is my sister.
It's good to see her able to move the direction she wants .
But why do the two of you act so obviously that only the smart kid gets the praise?

No ,I don't blame my sister on this. Cause her results ARE better than mine .
At least she can get into a JC, which she doesn't .
But what about me?

No, I'm not the smartest kid.
But am I not your kid ?
Why is there such a big difference ?

When I got my Os chinese ,A2 .
I was so happy that I jumped outside class,
thinking finally I got something good to show to you that I'm not wasting your money in studying.
But what do I get when I come back home ?

I asked my dad if he knew what I got for chinese ,
he said 'ya ,A2 uh ,so happy for what ?
CHINESE LEH ,YOU ONLY GET A2 ,WHY NEVER GET A1 !?'

My mind shot 'Joanne ,he's not gona praise you for anything .'
So I told him 'it's for O levels'
So ,what's his reply ?
'Har ?orh ok lor ' ,n he moves on to bathe .

If you really think studying these days is easy, think again.
If I didnt remember wrongly, my year ,my batch's chinese ,
there werent many As ,let alone A1 .

After I got my results, other than asking why didnt I work harder ,
I hear no praises.
No ,I'm not the smartest kid.
But can you at least show me that I am YOUR kid ?
A little 'well done ! good job !' will make me so happy .
Havent you ever wonder why my scores hasnt been well since sec sch ?
Because I dont feel tt my good studies make any changes .
Get B3, ask why nv do better .
Get A, ask why nv get full marks .

HEY ,I'm human ,not a freaking machine tt studies 24/7 .

So ,what happened today ?
Yes ,my sis gt her results .
My mum told my dad , he msged her congrats .

wow .

Sometimes I really feel adopted .
Like she's your real kid .
I'm just someone u adopted to test out life for her,
so that she doesnt walk the wrong path .
& this feeling accumulates over the years .

I knw many ppl say that the eldest are always white mice .
But mices still get treats are rewards ,
what do I get ?
canes ,scoldings , demoralization .

You'll never look at how good I did things .
Never .you'll only look at the bad side .

Pri sch ,Pri 1 .
My math gt 96 ,chinese gt 100 .
You caned me for nt acing my math ,never said anything about chinese .
Cause to you , acing chinese is nothing much .
Yea ,try looking at kids these days .
See how many of them ace their chinese .

It just sucks .
To always feel that what you do is never enough ,
never appreciated ,by anyone .
Cause they'll always ask for more.