thank you for breathing.

❝ 2nd Year

( posted on Saturday, December 08, 2012 @ 9:53 pm )

Yup ,the second year.
Didn't post a anniversary post last year (i think) .
Im starting to forget about this blog.
LOL.

Well yea, we're tgt for 2 years already.
Fast, isn't it?
Sometimes a little too fast.
until now i still can't forget that nite where he popped the question.

Many's been asking how did he ask,
& no ,I'm not gonna say it here,
ask me if you wanna know =]

So yea, just a short post to update about life,
which hasn't been really well.
projects, projects, tests, projects, projects.
Uhhh -.-

To my boy,
If you'll still see this.
Just to let you know, everything in that little booklet means everything to me.
Our 2 years had never been easy to go through.
Internship & your competition was tough,
but we still went through together =] .

Next comes NS, 2 years.
I'll be waiting for you to come out after the first 2 weeks,
my very own botak xD.

I'll be waiting =]

I Love You Baby,
More than anything else.

❝ Money

( posted on Thursday, October 18, 2012 @ 8:49 pm )

Yes ,Money . Something I'm sure everyone hates and loves at the same time . Love it when you have enough/more of it . Hate when you're short of it . Money in my family has never been liked . Since young ,or at least ,since i remembered things , daddy had to give ah ma money to see doc . When her illness got worse ,he needs to hire her a maid , then ,he had to drive taxi on weekends to make enough money . Then ,Me & sis needed tuition ,so ,things got worse , esp when I'm having my Os . So ,he tried to drive taxi as much as he could . In the past there was no such thing as family day , including PHs . Then Ah ma passed away ,I thought that things would go better for us . At least no more maid ,no more ah ma's super expensive medical bills , & that I could work part time . Hell no . Daddy's stomach got sick ,needed long term medication , every year need to go for scan to make sure nothing happens . Meaning ?Money thrown to hospital & medicine again . Wanna claim from insurance ? they give us bloody un-understoodable papers to fill in .(Yea ,fuck you for that) Then ,mummy didn't feel well either . Every year also need to go check up . I still have half a year more to graduation , Sis ,a week more to Os . The government is always talking about helping those low-income families . Then how about us ? Those that are stuck in the middle of no where ,struggling like mad ? Yes ,we're not poor until we can't get food . Yes ,I know I'm luckier than many people out there that are dying of hunger . But look at their society ,and look at ours . If i'm living in Indonesia/Philippines with the amount of income my parents earn ,I'm sure I won't ever complain . Why ?Cause their standard of living isn't damn high . These days ,even eating in school ,a meal will cost you $3-6 . Bus & MRT fare ?HAH . I don't even wanna recall how many times I hear my parents talking about no money ,wanting to do this ,do that . My daddy's stomach didn't go well because of irregular meals , because of his work ,because he wants the family to live better . Yes ,i complained many times about him . But at the beginning ,when he told me he might get stomach cancer , I cried . Back then ,Ah ma just passed away ,just a few weeks . The thought of losing another family member , my first thought was to just kill me . Sometimes I really ,really really really hope that money would drop from the sky . No need everyday ,once every month ,drop just $500 ,i'll be happy . At least that would settle some medical bill from my family . I believe it will help many too . But ,free stuff will never come .

❝

( posted on Wednesday, September 19, 2012 @ 8:33 pm )

Again ,this happened . Forever ,what ever I do ,u'll never be happy . No matter how good i do ,u'll nv find it enough . Os chi ,i got A2 ,you scold mi why nv get A1 . Pri maths ,i gt 96 ,you scold me why nv get 100 . I go poly ,you scold why dun wan go JC . you scold me ,i talk back ,u sae i ding zui . Dont talk ,u sae i ya ba . Srsly ,wtf do u wan from me ? pleasing you was the hardest thing to do in my 19 years of life . 做什么，说什么，都错 . & you dont just scold one person ,you scold the whole family . And all you know ,is to tell everyone how tired you are etc etc . But ,who isn't ? schooling these days aint easy ,mum is working too . sit in office doesnt mean she's nt tired . Office politics are more scary than you think . Yes ,you work more than anyone else ,we all knw that . BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE YOU KING OF THE HOUSE . you dont just scold anyone and give everyone shit as you like . you aint the one thst is tired . It's ok ,I know what to do . I'll just keep on working until school starts . You don't see me ,you'll be happy eh ? FINE

❝ Future

( posted on Saturday, September 01, 2012 @ 11:32 pm )

Fell in love with this collage i made . Kinda represents what makes me ,well ,me today . All my loved ones (of cos ,& my family) Love them much ♥ It's been a long while since i blogged . Was thinking whether i wanna close it down . But then ,nahhhhh . This blog gives me plenty of memoties =] . Intern is officially over . I would sae that i did learn many things from there , not technical/skills wise though ,more on communicating with people . Learned to be more careful haha . Oh well ,It's my last hols in poly . Geez ,im srsly getting old =.= . There are many times i kept thinking , what will happen after graduation . The guys will go army ,girls strts to work . Everyone starts to go their own ways =/ . Which means lesser time to meet my darlings ,esp the guys . Then when they come out frm NS ,they strt work ,too . Also ,no time to meet =[ . Sigh .

❝ Closed (?)

( posted on Thursday, June 28, 2012 @ 4:16 pm )

I find myself not opening up to people like how i used to anymore . Not even to those that i used to talk every single thing about before . I kept asking myself why ?You used to talk to him/her about everything , why not now ? I guess there's only one reason to that . Because people judge ,no matter how long they know you . Or at least ,that's how i think . Internship taught me to talk lesser about how you feel , because there's nobody you can fully trust there . For all you know ,the person you trust might just stab you on the back . So I guess this is how i feel the world/society is becoming like . Having no one you could trust ,or at least , I dont know if i could trust anyone anymore . Cause from what I know , my generation doesnt judge by what they see , is by what they hear from other people about that person . in short ,by rumors . So ,i dont know .maybe its just me . People always says that last time is always better . Ya ,I agree . at least i can talk to those people i can always trust , and that i dont have to worry that they'll tell anyone anything i told them ,& vice versa . You dont really feel this kinda trust these days .

人都会变　，我的好朋友们　，你们变了吗　?

❝ SIP ....Real industry world

( posted on Sunday, May 06, 2012 @ 9:49 pm )

Heyllos ppl !
Its been reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly long eh ?
Year 3 strted ,intern strted on 2nd Apr .
Still coping well I guess ? the place is ok ,its jus the ppl .
Not all of them though .some of them are really nice and helpful =] .

Its just some (well, most) of the ppl thr ,they can be really selfish .
I remember Chef Lua telling us when we're in toptable , that we shld always help in each other ,
so that things can be done faster & better .
For the first few weeks ,I did help as much as i cld .
srsly did ,even stayed ltr than my work time to help .
But then i realised ,i help ppl ,they tak my help for granted .
Then slowly ,it becomes a natural thing for me to help them .
The worst ?They dont bother to help u back .
I mean ,this kinda thing ,its a give n take . Ppl help u ,naturally shld help back .

Some of the full timers there told me that they themselves dont feel the team work in the kitchen itself .
Everyone jus cares for themselves .
Which i find kinda upseting .
Have you heard before a place ,wher 4 ppl resigns in a mth ?
Surprising ?I feel so too . Its like ,i've onli knwn them ,n nw they are leaving alrdy .
Sigh . I dont like the vibe im feeling at my work place .

I miss Toptable times .
I miss it where ppl helps each other ,so tt everyone has more time to rest n eat meals tgt .

Sigh

❝ Why ?

( posted on Wednesday, April 11, 2012 @ 12:13 am )

We've been together for so long .
Until now ,you still feel that I would find it a bother to hear things from you (?)
You know it hurts ?to see you keep all day quiet ,
staring into space ,having no appetite ,no mood for anything ,
yet not knowing the reason & cant do a single shit to help ?
For once I thought I did something wrong again ,
thought that history is going to repeat .

Please ,don't .Don't keep things from me ,no matter what it is .
You're not alone now .We're tgt for a reason .
If you're not going to tell me ,then how do I know what's bothering you ?
How do I know if you're keeping quiet cause you're just plain tired ?
or that I did something wrong ?
or something went wrong somewhere ?
You know my mind goes everywhere when I don't get answers .
seriously ,everywhere .

Please .no more next time .

It hurts

♥

❝ Many thoughts

( posted on Thursday, March 22, 2012 @ 11:40 pm )

Hey .

I dont know why ,I've been finding it difficult to sleep these few wks .
Before I sleep ,thr's sure to be at leat 30 mins of flipping on bed .
Alvin used to hav this ,I dunno if he still has it now .
but the funny thing is ,I dont know why .
Why am I flipping on bed like crazy ,sleeping ltr than i wanted ,
but wakin up earlier than usual .
In the past ,I can sleep from 12-10 (srsly ,I can)
but nw .sleep at 1 ,wake up at 8 -.- .
My body's gng mad .

Oh well ,jus some random pics I got frm Tumblr .

My ultimate wish

How I wish I am ...

Roses are just sooooooooooooooo pretty .
Don't you think ?

I love to hear that ..

On the side note ,there've been quite alot of thoughts gng through my mind ,
nt at night ,of course .
many many many random things .
too random until I can't remember all of them .

the most recent one was cause I was looking through secondary school photos .
All the memories jus flows in lik WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH ~!

Guitar ,guides ,class ...
all the stupid/funny/sad things that happened .
Come to tink of it ,until now ,those were my happiest days of life .
Days where all you have to do is go school ,meet friends in class in the morning .
Go assembly when the prefect chases you to (LOL).
Cher mark attendence ,stand a few mins while national song is playing ,
go back class .

Back in class ,its our heaven .
Listen to ear piece and sleep ,
play Mario Kart ,DJ max ,eat maggie mee .
once in awhile ,special things happen in school .
LOL .

Back then ,things were so much simpler .
So much easier to understand ,
So much easier to know ,
So much easier to deal with .
Love was simpler ,friendship was simpler ,
SCHOOL WORK WAS WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SIMPLER .

people were more forgiving ,more understanding ,more caring .
when they know you as friends ,they mean friends .
no such thing as back stabbing ,betraying .
any of tt ,he/she is out of the clique .
anyone upset ,everyone will gather tgt and find multiple ways to cheer them up ,
even if they cry/feel upset for the smallest things .

Forever remember Alvin's way of making me smile .
Simple ,but effective =] .

ahhh ,those days .
Nothing can ever replace them .
at least not in my heart .

ok ,time for bed ,i hope .
Nights ♥

❝ End of Year 2

( posted on Tuesday, March 13, 2012 @ 5:58 pm )

Hello Everyone !=]

It's been a longggggggggggggggggggg time since i wrote a long post .
so ya =]

D&D Was last night ,had a fun night .
Watching the video made me felt sad .
Because i'll be leaving TP in another year's time ='[[ .
Gona miss all the fun ppl in CCM ,
Love them sooooooooooooo much .
From time to time we wld complain about one another ,
but when we're graduating ,im sure everyone will miss the kinda fun we all had tgt before .

Ah well ,i'll let the pics talk xD